100 Blog Challenge - #3 - Making Changes For The Better

So it's the new year and time to make some changes. Every year I sit down and make a list of goals. I don't call them resolutions because resolutions get broken like the first week. I call them goals - short, mid and long term - for the year.

Last year I had a few goals:

- to be single for a year - accomplished

- to buy a house - I tried and came close

- to sponsor more women and be more active in my community - I think I succeeded

- to be more financially responsible - I did pretty good on that end

- to visit my friend Kaushal in Atlanta - accomplished

- to vist my grandpa and grandma Tejeda in Nebraska - did it

- to make more trips back home to Cali - done

- to have more fun - definitely accomplished ;)

- to make new friends - nailed that

- to laugh more - definitely laughed till my sides hurt

- to get to know myself better - I did

- pray for others every day - did that most of the time

After looking back on 365 days of blood, sweat, tears and triumph it's empowering to see how far I've come in just one year. Granted the past 12 months have been full of ups and downs but overall the transformation process to a better me has been amazing.

That being said its time to do some more growing - because as an eternal student of life we never stop growing. So for 2010 here is what I propose for myself to be a better person:

- Get a closer connection to God - sometimes I forget who's really running the show, think that I have all the power and then get gently reminded who's really in charge. See when I'm driving the car I tend to make a mess of things and once the mess is made, that's usually when I'm willing to turn to God and ask for help. I'd like to circumvent the mess process this year and just stay close to God in the first place. That starts with a little prayer, meditation and service work.

- Be on time everywhere I go. I once had a teacher who said: Early is on time, on time is late and late is unforgivable. Every time I'm even a few minutes late to something that phrase rings in my head. I know I'm late, you know I'm late, now what am I going to do about it. My best friend Diana calls it arrogance - thinking the world will wait for you. Well the real world won't wait for me and really it is arrogance regardless of the reason for my tardiness. Planes don't wait, meetings don't wait, sponsees, clients and bosses shouldn't have to wait and I shouldn't be late. Enuf said!

- Rebuild my savings. Last year I started to build up a nice savings and over the past few months I had some big expenses that drained it. That killed me to see my little nest egg go to $0 :( So for 2010 I get to be disciplined with my budget, stop spoiling myself with "presents to me" and start setting money aside again for my emgergency fund.

- Find and buy my dream home - I worked really hard last year to improve my credit, raise the money for my down payment and be in the position to buy a home - the only problem...I didn't find the right home :( So this year my goal is to find my dream home - right size, right neighborhood, right price.

Other Goals:

- Pray for others

- Do my gratitude list everyday

- Get a promotion at work

- Be a good girlfriend

- Zumba twice a week

- Visit my grandparents in Nebraska

- Make a spring/summer trip to Cali

- Visit Kaushal where ever she is

- Take a trip to New York to visit my Cousin Jackie

- Have my brother visit Texas

- Have more fun this year than last

- Dance more this year than last

- Take Salsa lessons

- Go skydiving

- Laugh a lot

So that's it. Those are my goals for 2010. I may add a few in as the year progresses. I do have a brand new passport that is itching for some stamps so I'll let you know if some international travel gets added to the list. Feel free to let me know if I need to add some things to my goal list ;)

100 Blog Challenge - #2 - Off The Market

So at 12:30 am 2010 I was officially taken off the dating market. That's when Nick pulled me aside and sweetly asked me "What I would think about being his girlfriend." My immediate response wasn't a verbal one. Instead I just smiled and kissed him. As I felt a flutter of excitement pour over me I also had a momentary twinge of hesitation run through my body.

That was the label I had managed to neatly evade for all of 2009 - something I had stuck to my guns about - I was going to be SINGLE for an entire year. But here it was, 30 minutes into 2010, and Nick was not wasting any time. Was I ready for this? Could I do this? Can I be a good girlfriend?

I always joke that the song "Bad Girlfriend" is my theme song because I have a history of not doing relationships well. They never work out or they're not with the right people. On my end I can be selfish, cold, vain and get bored easily. (Hey at least I'm honest)

To make a long story short my track record with LTR's isn't great. They usually have a shelf life of 18 months and by the end I'm either racing from some sick co-dependent cocoon or gimping my way out of the so called union scathed, scarred and emotionally wrecked. Sounds like fun huh?

Some might say, and have said, I have commitment issues. I would definitely say I have commitment issues. That's a big Roger that! I hate the fact that I had to sign a two year contract for my cell phone company.

So what makes this guy - more specifically Nick - so different? Especially when I spent an entire YEAR dating a number of men, one in particular, almost exclusively for most of the year and who had indicated interest in the boyfriend position. Why was I so willing or even considering getting back into a relationship after a year of single bliss?

I wish I could say I knew or could point to one single thing but I can't. From the moment Nick first extended his hand to me and we danced Salsa in the kitchen at his family's tamalada I knew I wanted to dance with him again. The next night at Arjon's as we laughed and spun around the small, crowded floor, I was enchanted by his smile, confidence and expressive eyes.

In the following days and weeks we talked for hours, stayed up way too late, went dancing again and again and again, went to dinner, went to a movie, danced in my living room till all hours of the night, went to a concert at Gruene Hall, went to my Christmas party, texted, he met a few of my friends and I met a few of his. And with each passing day the other people that I had been dating just kind of slipped away.

Then on New Years Eve, in my room, as he pulled me close and asked me if I would be his girlfriend, that momentary flash of fear vanished and I said "Yes!"

Call me crazy - I am. Call this a whirl wind romance - It is. Call it whatever you will. But I'm jumping in head first and going to ride this train till the wheels come off. Wish me luck ;)

100 Blog Challenge - #1 - The Dance Floor Disaster

So the other day I saw a twitter post from one of my friends that said I challenge you to post 100 blogs in 100 days and I thought...hmmmm could I do that? Really could I do that?

My goal when I started this blog was to write about my life and journey of living up the good life in the Alamo city and I am a pretty busy girl so I'm going to give this 100 blogs in 100 days a shot. So here goes #1

Most of you know that I am a dancing machine and I never hesitate to hit up the floor when the music is bumping. Whether its house, salsa or country I am ready to shuffle my feet and burn some calories. But not everything always goes according to plan.

The other night I went to Cowboys and man it was PACKED! I mean there was wiggle room only on the dance floor. I probably wasn't wearing the best shoes - 4" heels instead of my boots. That was my first mistake. Fortunately I was with a great dance partner - my boyfriend Nick.

Nick is a phenomenal dancer - country, salsa, house, any type of music is his forte. So not only can he spin me around the dance floor with ease but he can also navigate a packed dance floor with the same talent as a precision driver maneuvering 281/1604 traffic at 5 o'clock.

Unfortunately during one of my spins my hand slipped from his grasp and given my outward spinning momentum I fell over me heels, flew backwards and it was like the red sea parted as I sailed through the air, through the crowd, not hitting a single person and landed on my ass right in the middle of the dance floor.

To add insult to injury not a single person helped me up. Yep people just kept right on dancing around me as if I wasn't even there. What could I do but laugh. And laugh I did. Hysterically so until Nick barreled through the packed floor to help me up. I was a good ten feet away from him and the "sea" had closed after my passing. He was literally shoving people aside to get to me.

Yep just call me grace. Good times. That was the start of my night and it didn't stop me. I just kept on dancing. Sometimes when things like that happen you just pick yourself up, dust your butt off and keep on dancing.

Its just like life...you just gotta laugh at yourself and roll with the punches, trips, falls and disasters. I always say if I didn't laugh I'd surely cry. So why not laugh instead. It sure feels a hell of a lot better to laugh.

Home for the Holidays

It's that time of year...the time when I trek back home to the OC and spend Christmas at the beach. Well not literally at the beach but pretty darn close. In fact I usually try to make a few trips to the city of Newport Beach and at least dip my toes in the sand, stare at the waves and breathe that clean ocean air during my annual yuletide trip to the mother ship of California.

And man does it feel good to be home, laying in my own bed right now as I type this blog entry. As I think back to where I was a year ago, practically fleeing to Cali after a tough breakup to lick my wounds, clear my head and desperately trying to find the person that had gotten so lost.

I remember how much peace and comfort I experienced in those first few days. The welcoming hugs from my family, the big smile on my brothers' faces, my best friend Sari and I had a "stich and bitch," I slept in, went out with friends, drank soothing cups of coffee, read a great book recommended to me by my friend Diana and even laughed a little.

California has always been my happy place. A time to see friends, to shop, to relax and play. A time to celebrate my birthday and "go big or go home." This year promises to be even better. My little brother and I have plans to go out on the town ;) He's now 19 - such a babe still - but old enough to hang with his big sis. And it's time for him to learn how to "go big or go home" and going home isn't an option.

This may also be my last Christmas in the golden state. My parents are thinking about moving this summer to either North Carolina or a suburb or Atlanta. So I really have no choice but to soak in all the sunshine and fun times that I can on this trip.

So far plans include dancing, eating, shopping, snowboarding in Big Bear, Christmas Eve party with the family at my parents house, post Christmas party at Grandpa's house, lunch with Grandma, sleep and much, much more.

This year has been about fun and as the year winds down to a close I fully intend to go out with a bang. Why slow down now just because its the holidays? Its just all the more reason to have fun and bringing my brother along for the ride is even cooler.

God is that you????

Do you ever have those moments where you feel like God is slowing you down? And not in a bad way but probably for your own good. These past few mornings I've sat drinking coffee, contemplating my life and feeling the shift. How God has stopped me from making some impulsive decisions that I may not necessarily have regretted but in hindsight may not have been the best ones to make.

Sometimes I feel like my life is going at warp speed and runs so fast that all my thoughts, actions and words are chewed up and spit out so quickly that I don't fully have time to comprehend their impact on myself and those around me. Only later do I reflect back and feel that twinge of regret, remorse or guilt. Thinking I should have done or said that differently.

Over the past two weeks I've had several of life's doors close and only now do I have the time to mull over and think about those situations with a still mind, several good nights of sleep and a few good meals in my stomach.

Its ironic that at this time when I'm feeling particularly selfish and self centered, you know because its all about me, that God entrusts me with more service positions and sponsees as a way to give back and get out of myself. It seems to be the only way I know of to restore some sort of semblance and balance to my life, to be accountable, to lead by example, to slow down.

I'm grateful that God always steps in at just the right time with a big dose of humility and reality - lord knows I can use it right now.

Growing Up...a little

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and unfortunately, not a lot of posting. I went to the coast this weekend and spent a lot of time looking at the ocean thinking about my life.

I've got a lot of what I like to call "big girl" decisions coming up. Some of them I've already made, some are around the corner and some are what I view as Gods little curve balls.

I made one today. It was the end of something that has been a constant in my life all year but its a loss that I feel nonetheless. It was done without any drama or tears, I'm not the crying type, but for the first time in a long time it was a decision that was made without any fear because God was with me and I knew it was time to let go.

Today I intuitively knew how to handle a situation that used to baffle me.

This year has been about self discovery, about finding myself and I've definitely stumbled along the way. It's been about letting go of old behaviors, past patterns, bad habits and the like. Its been about finding out who I am and what I like to do. Its been about making new friends, laughing and finding joy in all I do. Its been about working a new job and walking through fear. I've watched friends move away, relationships end and I've begun rebuilding my life from the ground up...this time with God at the helm.

Its amazing how much smoother things go when I let the big man take the wheel and drive.

I recently put an offer on a house...then walked away. I put an offer on another house...I'm about to walk away again. I'm learning that what I want is not always what's best for me or what's in Gods plan for me. But what I do know is that I have faith that things always get better and I am becoming a better person each and every day.

I know that I don't have to hurt peoples feelings but sometime I do and inadvertently I will. I know when that happens I can make amends and if at all possible make it right and my friendships will be better because of it.

I'm learning how to let people in and let them get to know the real me - slowly. The me who likes to drink coffee and laugh and smoke way too many cigarettes. The me who likes to Zumba my butt off, bake cookies and dance in my living room until the sun comes up. The me who likes to ride Harley's and watch HGTV and tweet endless amounts of babble. The me who is perfectly imperfect but is striving to be the woman God intended me to be.

Live Music, Concerts and More

Its been awhile since I last posted. In fact, its been a whole month...my bad. But I've been out having fun, living life and working my butt off ;)

I recently went to the Metallica concert when they were here in San Antonio and they absolutely kicked ass!

I have been a Metallica fan since I was 15 and I first heard their black album. They hooked me in with the song Enter Sandman and I immediately went out and bought all their other CD's and a few tapes. Yes I'm that old that I owned tapes. CD's were still new technology back then.

I remember I was supposed to go to the big joint Metallica/Gun & Roses concert that year but I got grounded and didn't get to go. I was heart broken. But I finally got to see my favorite band in 2005 on their St. Anger tour when they came to Tucson, AZ. I was so pumped. They played all my favorite songs.

I was a reporter at the local Fox station in town and we did a story on big name bands playing smaller cities and venues. I was able to meet and interview Lars. I even took a picture with him ;) It was one of my favorite moments in television news.

This time I almost didn't get to go to the concert. But Johnny "Fingers" Compian of 1250 The Zone hooked me up with an extra ticket he had - You Rock Johnny!!

Our seats were incredible! Metallica, as always, was awesome. Master of Puppets - Intense! One - Perfect. Enter Sandman - Just as I remember. They brought down the house!

My other new passion has been for hearing local bands play at Gruene Hall. I received a new project at work - to put together live music newsletters for all the upcoming bands that will be playing in the New Braunfels area and its been amazing.

Over the past few months I have discovered some insanely good artists that I never would have discovered had I not been researching their bios and surfing their websites and myspace pages for information.

Two weekends ago I saw Stewart Mann and the Statesboro Revue and Bleu Edmondson play at Gruene Hall. Both were awesome and I bought their CDs. In fact I haven't been able to get their CD's out of my CD player.

Here is a video I took of Bleu performing his song Resurrection:

Bleu will be playing next in San Antonio at Jacks on 11/6. The Statesboro Revue will be playing on Wednesday the 14th of October at River Road Icehouse. You all should check them out!