Home for the Holidays

It's that time of year...the time when I trek back home to the OC and spend Christmas at the beach. Well not literally at the beach but pretty darn close. In fact I usually try to make a few trips to the city of Newport Beach and at least dip my toes in the sand, stare at the waves and breathe that clean ocean air during my annual yuletide trip to the mother ship of California.

And man does it feel good to be home, laying in my own bed right now as I type this blog entry. As I think back to where I was a year ago, practically fleeing to Cali after a tough breakup to lick my wounds, clear my head and desperately trying to find the person that had gotten so lost.

I remember how much peace and comfort I experienced in those first few days. The welcoming hugs from my family, the big smile on my brothers' faces, my best friend Sari and I had a "stich and bitch," I slept in, went out with friends, drank soothing cups of coffee, read a great book recommended to me by my friend Diana and even laughed a little.

California has always been my happy place. A time to see friends, to shop, to relax and play. A time to celebrate my birthday and "go big or go home." This year promises to be even better. My little brother and I have plans to go out on the town ;) He's now 19 - such a babe still - but old enough to hang with his big sis. And it's time for him to learn how to "go big or go home" and going home isn't an option.

This may also be my last Christmas in the golden state. My parents are thinking about moving this summer to either North Carolina or a suburb or Atlanta. So I really have no choice but to soak in all the sunshine and fun times that I can on this trip.

So far plans include dancing, eating, shopping, snowboarding in Big Bear, Christmas Eve party with the family at my parents house, post Christmas party at Grandpa's house, lunch with Grandma, sleep and much, much more.

This year has been about fun and as the year winds down to a close I fully intend to go out with a bang. Why slow down now just because its the holidays? Its just all the more reason to have fun and bringing my brother along for the ride is even cooler.

God is that you????

Do you ever have those moments where you feel like God is slowing you down? And not in a bad way but probably for your own good. These past few mornings I've sat drinking coffee, contemplating my life and feeling the shift. How God has stopped me from making some impulsive decisions that I may not necessarily have regretted but in hindsight may not have been the best ones to make.

Sometimes I feel like my life is going at warp speed and runs so fast that all my thoughts, actions and words are chewed up and spit out so quickly that I don't fully have time to comprehend their impact on myself and those around me. Only later do I reflect back and feel that twinge of regret, remorse or guilt. Thinking I should have done or said that differently.

Over the past two weeks I've had several of life's doors close and only now do I have the time to mull over and think about those situations with a still mind, several good nights of sleep and a few good meals in my stomach.

Its ironic that at this time when I'm feeling particularly selfish and self centered, you know because its all about me, that God entrusts me with more service positions and sponsees as a way to give back and get out of myself. It seems to be the only way I know of to restore some sort of semblance and balance to my life, to be accountable, to lead by example, to slow down.

I'm grateful that God always steps in at just the right time with a big dose of humility and reality - lord knows I can use it right now.

Growing Up...a little

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and unfortunately, not a lot of posting. I went to the coast this weekend and spent a lot of time looking at the ocean thinking about my life.

I've got a lot of what I like to call "big girl" decisions coming up. Some of them I've already made, some are around the corner and some are what I view as Gods little curve balls.

I made one today. It was the end of something that has been a constant in my life all year but its a loss that I feel nonetheless. It was done without any drama or tears, I'm not the crying type, but for the first time in a long time it was a decision that was made without any fear because God was with me and I knew it was time to let go.

Today I intuitively knew how to handle a situation that used to baffle me.

This year has been about self discovery, about finding myself and I've definitely stumbled along the way. It's been about letting go of old behaviors, past patterns, bad habits and the like. Its been about finding out who I am and what I like to do. Its been about making new friends, laughing and finding joy in all I do. Its been about working a new job and walking through fear. I've watched friends move away, relationships end and I've begun rebuilding my life from the ground up...this time with God at the helm.

Its amazing how much smoother things go when I let the big man take the wheel and drive.

I recently put an offer on a house...then walked away. I put an offer on another house...I'm about to walk away again. I'm learning that what I want is not always what's best for me or what's in Gods plan for me. But what I do know is that I have faith that things always get better and I am becoming a better person each and every day.

I know that I don't have to hurt peoples feelings but sometime I do and inadvertently I will. I know when that happens I can make amends and if at all possible make it right and my friendships will be better because of it.

I'm learning how to let people in and let them get to know the real me - slowly. The me who likes to drink coffee and laugh and smoke way too many cigarettes. The me who likes to Zumba my butt off, bake cookies and dance in my living room until the sun comes up. The me who likes to ride Harley's and watch HGTV and tweet endless amounts of babble. The me who is perfectly imperfect but is striving to be the woman God intended me to be.

Live Music, Concerts and More

Its been awhile since I last posted. In fact, its been a whole month...my bad. But I've been out having fun, living life and working my butt off ;)

I recently went to the Metallica concert when they were here in San Antonio and they absolutely kicked ass!

I have been a Metallica fan since I was 15 and I first heard their black album. They hooked me in with the song Enter Sandman and I immediately went out and bought all their other CD's and a few tapes. Yes I'm that old that I owned tapes. CD's were still new technology back then.

I remember I was supposed to go to the big joint Metallica/Gun & Roses concert that year but I got grounded and didn't get to go. I was heart broken. But I finally got to see my favorite band in 2005 on their St. Anger tour when they came to Tucson, AZ. I was so pumped. They played all my favorite songs.

I was a reporter at the local Fox station in town and we did a story on big name bands playing smaller cities and venues. I was able to meet and interview Lars. I even took a picture with him ;) It was one of my favorite moments in television news.

This time I almost didn't get to go to the concert. But Johnny "Fingers" Compian of 1250 The Zone hooked me up with an extra ticket he had - You Rock Johnny!!

Our seats were incredible! Metallica, as always, was awesome. Master of Puppets - Intense! One - Perfect. Enter Sandman - Just as I remember. They brought down the house!

My other new passion has been for hearing local bands play at Gruene Hall. I received a new project at work - to put together live music newsletters for all the upcoming bands that will be playing in the New Braunfels area and its been amazing.

Over the past few months I have discovered some insanely good artists that I never would have discovered had I not been researching their bios and surfing their websites and myspace pages for information.

Two weekends ago I saw Stewart Mann and the Statesboro Revue and Bleu Edmondson play at Gruene Hall. Both were awesome and I bought their CDs. In fact I haven't been able to get their CD's out of my CD player.

Here is a video I took of Bleu performing his song Resurrection:

Bleu will be playing next in San Antonio at Jacks on 11/6. The Statesboro Revue will be playing on Wednesday the 14th of October at River Road Icehouse. You all should check them out!

Patiently Waiting

So I put an offer in on a house almost a month ago and I've been waiting patiently to hear back. The "I want to buy your home are you going to sell it?" situation is complicated. So I've been patient and holding off on a blog post hoping to write good news like...It's mine!! Its all mine!! But alas no...the waiting continues.

Have you ever heard the joke "How do you make God laugh? You tell him your plans!" Yeah God is laughing at me and I am patiently waiting for answers. Fortunatly, I'm willing to wait and also willing to adjust my plan because it may just not include the very house I've put on my very short list of...one.

*heavy sigh*

Ahhhh....Reality. Its not always fun and it doesn't always feel fair but I've found that God usually has a better idea of the bigger picture than I do, so its best to just have a little faith that things will all work out for the best without my meddling and manipulating.

Don't get me wrong - its not that I don't want to jump in there and make that house my own and make things happen. Trust me - I do! However, its been my experience that when I get involved and "force" a situation to "go my way" it doesn't stay in my favor for long.

Call it karma, call it murphys law, call it self will, call it my own bad luck, call it whatever you want. I just know that this kind of "negotiation" is best left to professionals and God gets to decide the outcome - in his time - not mine. And I'm sure along the way I'll learn some valuable lesson, build some character, yada, yada, yada...But...in the process...waiting sucks. The good news however, is that I am a very patient woman ;)

Being the Big Sister I Never Thought I Could Be

I talked to my little, ok now kinda grown up, brother Daniel on Facebook today. He's 18, just graduated from high school and starting to figure out this thing called LIFE.

He's made some very grown up decisions lately by telling my parents he's not going to be attending Humboldt State in the fall. Instead he'll be staying close to home and following my footsteps by going the community college route. I can only imagine the fear it 1) took for him to stand his ground with my parents and 2) charter the unknown territories of not having a plan all mapped out for him by my mother.

But he seems to be doing well and I'm happy for him. He's acting, having fun, hanging out with his friends and girlfriend, and sends me regular text messages. He also often comes to me for advice, especially about all of the above.

Daniel and I didn't always have such a great relationship. We used to fight like cats and dogs...or more appropriately like siblings. You see, my mom remarried when I was 8 to my stepfather, who is a wonderful man. Daniel didn't come along until I was 14 years old. Having been an only child for so long having a sibling after so many years of solitude was quite an adjustment. Actually that's an understatement.

Daniel got away with everything I got in trouble or got grounded for. He told on me and narked me out. I was the live in baby sitter. For so long I HATED him. Four years later, my brother Scotty came along. Now instead of one there was TWO!!

By this time I had graduated from high school and was attending college, partying with my friends and resented the hell out of having to take time out to babysit much less attend family functions. Even though I was living at home off and on, I spent as little time as possible with my family and even less time with Daniel and Scott. I was a sister only in name.

The change happened about the time I was living in Arizona, around 2003. I came home for flower festival and he rode with me up to my grandmothers house. We talked the whole drive up and all of a sudden Daniel realized I was an ally and not the enemy. We forged a truce. He realized I could be a conduit between mom and dad. That I could be a neutral third party that could help with negotiations. He later flew out to Tucson to visit me and do an internship at the TV station I was working at over the summer.

By becoming more active in Daniels life I became more active in Scotts life. Granted I'm still much closer to Daniel but I also take more time with Scott when I visit. We watch movies, play volleyball and talk. I call the house and spend a few minutes on the phone with Scott before asking to talk to mom and dad. I'm even his friend on Facebook ;)

This past Christmas when I went home was probably the best Christmas I'd had in years. I just hunkered down and soaked up my family. I took Daniel to get his official California ID card. He wasn't allowed to get his drivers license yet.

I played Rummi Cube with Scott - the evil mastermind

We took this picture which sits on my desk at work. It brings a smile to my face every time I look at it and realize how far I've come in my relationship with my brothers. It did take a few takes to get one that Scott wasn't doing bunny ears behind my head ;)

Although I live 2,000 miles always from my little, now growing up to be big brothers, I feel so blessed to have them in my life. I have changed and grown into the big sister I never wanted to be but am so glad I am.

If I could give them one last piece of advice it would be to live your life for you and no one else. Live it to the fullest. Laugh a lot and often. And above everything else...have fun. I love you always ~ your big sister Nat

A note to the Roaches

So my cat George totally redeemed himself/herself this weekend and earned his/her overpriced kitty food.

After spending Thursday night in a cleaning fit sucking up all the little cat/dog hair balls that were floating around my hardwood floors I found several uninvited guests hiding out underneath the furniture. Fortunately they were DEAD guests. I could tell by the flipped over, on the back, legs to the sky position they had taken up. So I did what any normal girl would do...I sucked them up with the attachment wand on the vacuum.

I thought I had gotten all the little buggers - 3 1/2 in total - one was only in partial pieces under the litter box. Where the rest of him went I have no idea but I don't care. I was happy, the floors were clean, the roaches were gone and ahhhhhhh I could breathe normally again. But then Saturday night rolled around.

I was sitting on the couch watching Divine Design on HGTV waiting for Diana to show up before we hit up the Bonham and heard a noise in the kitchen. George was chasing something!! I flipped on the lights and to my surprise not only had he cornered a roach but he had injured it! My seemingly lazy cat had actually done his job and captured an intruder! Good kitty - a greeny treat for you!

As I stared at the prisoner, watching him ooze some gooey black substance, his antenna twitched. He knew he was caught and the end was near. With one swift motion, never taking my eyes off of him, I crushed him with my flip flop.

Ahhhh the sweet smell of victory. I hope his friends were watching. Let all roaches who even think of entering my home know to trespass here is a death sentence. For I am friends with powerful people - specifically Sir Ricardo the Exterminator and King George the Enforcer.

Lost sheep is found but not quite back in the flock

I just got a call from a woman I had been working with who went MIA about two weeks ago. I do a lot of work with women in treatment for substance abuse. This particular woman had had her ups and downs while in treatment - many of them do - but one Saturday while on pass something happened and she decided to leave rehab. I didn't find out she had left until a day later when I was talking to one of her housemates. I was surprised to say the least because she had been doing so well - I thought. Today I got the real story as to why she decided to leave.

While on pass her boyfriend broke up with her and she didn't want to feel the pain. So she left the safety of her rehab to go do what addicts do best - get loaded.

This is what happens when we make our friends/family/significant others our higher powers aka our God. People will always let us down because we put unrealistic expectations on them. No one is perfect. There will always be a fight, a break up or a hurt feeling. Humans are fallible and when we put them on pedistals they fall off and consequently when alcoholics and addicts place their whole world in something fallible they too fall off.

One of the most valuable lessons I've learned in the past year is to place my dependance in God instead of people and material possessions. In the past I've made my job, my significant others, my car, my paycheck, my clothes/shoes/purses etc... my higher power and I've found that in the pursuit of all of those they've been stripped from me. And after being left curled up in the fetal position in a world of pain I realized the only thing left, and that had been there the entire time, was God.

Today I turn to God first to let me be of service, to do his will and to decide the *bonuses* that should be in my life. Its been a humbling experience to say the least but a most rewarding one. I bring God into all my big decisions. Buying a car last year - on Gods terms. Switching from SAWS to Dublin and Associates - on Gods terms. Buying a house this year - on Gods terms. These are all changes I was willing to make for peace of mind and a better life.

As for the woman I was working with she is back home in her small town where they have meetings twice a week. She tells me she is tired of her old lifestyle, is again willing to make some changes and will be going to those meetings. She's also desperatly trying to get back into treatment but has to face the consequences of her actions - a long waiting list for a bed.

God doesn't make too hard a terms for those who seek him but not everything is handed to us on a silver platter either. There has to be a degree of willingness too. I tell her that people have been getting clean and sober without treatment for years and it can be done if you're serious about your recovery but she's not so sure she can do it. I tell her to dig in, get some phone numbers of some women in your town in recovery and work a program like your life depends on it. She says she will and she'll call me to let me know how she's doing.

In all likely hood I'll probably never hear from her again. Or if I do she'll probably call once or twice more before ceasing all contact. It sounds sad but that's just been my experience and a harsh reality of working with lots of women like her. I hope I'm wrong. I hope she's the exception. I hope she makes it back.

My kind of Wedding

I saw this on a blog this morning and had to pass it on. Not saying that I'm itching to get hitched but IF I were to take the big plunge into the deep end of the pool it would probably look a little something like this.

Herding Dogs, Cats and....Roaches??

This is the blog post I've been trying to write all week but I've been busy and I've had little doggie paws, courtesy of Sunshine, all over my laptop every time I tried to sit down on the couch and write.

Let me just start by saying...George isn't happy...he's been monitoring our house guests from the safety of my new bed all week. But aside from a few hair raising hisses he's been pretty cordial.

We've been doggie sitting all week for my friend Diana aka Sunshine's owner and for Joe aka Katie the shop dogs owner.

Sunshine is an adorable little pomeranian who demands my attention, hence the little paws on my laptop. She reminds me a lot of my little yorkie Bella who was lost when I moved into my current apartment a year and a half ago.

Sunshine is fantastic in the art of begging for food and doesn't like her picture taken. However I was able to snap this pic because I was holding a french fry in my hand and she was looking up at me ;) She was very attentive at the time. Right now she is bounding around the kitchen and barking at me because I'm on the computer instead of petting her...total princess and such an attention whore.

Our other guest Katie is a fox red lab that looks a lot like my other former dog Puma. Katie is a big lover who is extremely well behaved and loves to give kisses.

She's also a great watch dog, barking at everything that approaches the front door - including me. Good girl Katie. She also hunted and killed a very large cockroach her first night here at the house - very good girl.

Roaches, unfortunately, make a sporadic appearance in my apartment in the summer no matter how many times I have the exterminator out. I live in an old pier and beam house so it kind of comes with the territory. Katie just did what my cat refuses to do...attack!! Get em'!! Kill!!

George just watches while I grab the raid and put the nasty buggers out of their misery before tossing their poisoned carcass in the trash all the while meowing for food. I think we know who runs the house right??

So all week I've been "monitoring" the peace process and I'm happy to report that yes there has been a truce formed in my house. Although the Roach didn't make it - it was a suicide mission after all.

Its been a little weird having the responsibility of a dog(s) again. I've been making my regular glamorous appearances in the neighborhood early in the morning complete with bathrobe and poop bag - Sexy! I've been emailing Diana letters penned from Sunshine (I know. I'm a dork) I've found myself staying home so that I can be with the "kiddos."

Not having a dog for a year and a half makes me realize again how much of a responsibility it is having to come home to walk, feed and nurture your little furry family members. I have such a busy life and its a habit I had gotten out of just having a cat who's very independent and only requires me to feed him twice a day and scoop the box (I hate scooping the box)

There are times I wish I had a dog again and then there are times I am glad I get to live vicariously through my friends and one more time just be Auntie Nat the BEST doggie sitter ever!!

The Bed - Its done!

Joe is a miracle worker. Although I have to admit that two weekends ago when when the bed came home and it didn't fit my box spring and mattress I was a little skeptical about how the project was going to turn out. He let me know that the bed project was going to be on hold until after the 4th of July because he was having a party so I kind of just put it out of my mind and figured we'd work on it this weekend. So imagine my surprise when I called Joe Friday night and he told me the bed was DONE!!

What??? No more painting? No more sanding? Just be home for delivery?! OK you twisted my arm ;) So just after 1 this afternoon Joe brought my new and improved bed frame home! After putting it together joe explains how he fixed our previous "mis-calculations"

So here's the moment of truth...does it fit??

YES!!! Whoo Hoo!! I finally have a bed fit for a queen ;)

All I can say is just wow. I am so impressed with Joe and his amazing skills as a master craftsman and wood worker. I am so grateful that I have people like him in my life who are willing to help me, ok in his case, do for me what I can't do for myself.

Now I'm going to take a nap in my new bed ;)

Going High Tech

So in an attempt to become a little more credible and more high tech, I registered my blog with Technoratti. I even have to post a blog with this code in it: whxdirqtsz That's so the computer can find me and start tracking my blog.

Hopefully Technoratti will do a better job than Google, which still doesn't pull up my blog in search engines, even though it is a Google run platform...sheesh.

Goodbye to the Golden State??

Ok I'm sitting here in a total state of shock. I've tried calling all my friends and no one is answering...punks (and thats the nice word for it) So this is my only outlet for my total mind blowing breaking news flash: My family is moving from Southern California to North Carolina by the end of summer...probably. WTF!!!!

I just got the 411 from my little brother Daniel, who's not so little, he's 18, but he's still my little brother and that's not the point. The point is my family IS MOVING FROM SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA TO NORTH CAROLINA IN A MONTH AND A HALF!!!!

OK breathe in....out....in...out. I can't even get them to visit me in Texas and I've been here for almost four years, which I might add they promised to do this summer. And instead they visit my aunt and uncle for a few days in North Carolina because they're close by on a trip to D.C. and decide to move there??? HELLO!!! What is going on? Has hell frozen over? Please tell me because the last time I checked it was 100+ here in San Antonio. Or has the world ended and I've finally ended up where I always feared I would?

Ok so maybe I'm over reacting a bit but I'm hurt. Apparently I'm the last to know. Apparently not only are my mom, my step dad and my two little brothers (13 & 18) going to be tarheels but they've also recruited my Aunt Sheri too.

My question is...why not Texas? After all San Antonio was named one of Forbes top ten most recession proof cities. Its also has one of the best housing markets and aside from the current heat wave, it has gorgeous weather.

I have been trying to get my parents to move here, hell just consider the idea of relocating here, since I moved here in December of 2005. I can't believe they would just make the decision to sell their SoCal home and move to North Carolina without even giving San Antonio a glance. In fact I'm downright insulted.

But aside from my anger I'm also sad. The thoughts of no more Christmas' in California by the beach, no more ocean breeze, no more waking up in my own bed in my own room in my parents house, no more sitting on "our" patio with my brother having long talks, no more birthdays in that kitchen, no more drinking coffee and reading the Sunday paper in my chair, the memories we shared in that house...no more. I can't believe it could really be happening...in just a few months.

Looking for...Me

I started this year with a goal...to find myself. I felt a little like Julia Roberts in the runaway bride...not really even knowing how I liked my eggs cooked. Which really isn't true because I like them over medium with bacon. But you get the point. I was feeling lost having just come out of another (failed) long term relationship. 

You see I have this really bad habit of going from one relationship to another. In fact I've spent the better part of the past 15 years in back to back relationships. Each time I come tearing out of one, and its usually ugly, there would be some other poor soul to take their place. My therapist would call it co-dependancy.  I simply call it fear. Fear of being alone. So instead of taking time to heal and reflect on what went wrong I would simply find someone new to latch onto like a barnacle in the hopes they would find me good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, thin enough, perfect enough, etc...to be worthy of keeping around.

I got real good at being the girl you wanted me to be. I became friends with your friends and was fun to be around. I took on your hobbies and likes. You like punk rock? I like punk rock! You want to go to the river? I can do the river! I became the master chameleon. In essence, I was the perfect girlfriend, always up for fun and always had a smile on my face.

However, there is a flip side of my personality. I have a horrible fear of commitment and can't stand normalcy. So while part of me longed for someone to love me the other part of me was constantly looking outward for the next best thing horribly afraid I would miss the "something better" that would come along because I was in a relationship.

It didn't make things any easier that I chose to pursue a career that moved me about the country. In fact it made it much easier for me to just pick up and take off with things got too serious. Sure the relationship would hang on for a few months when I was in my new town but then I would find someone new who would give me the attention I craved and I'd be off to the races. It was a vicious cycle that ruined numerous relationships and caused irreparable emotional damage to my exes. I wasn't a very nice person and I'm not proud of my behavior.

But this year, having decided it was time for a change, I made up my mind that at 32 years old I was going to learn just who the hell I am and what the hell I like. I've spent so much time catering to my significant others that it seems like I don't even know who I am anymore. So I made a list - not a bucket list - because I don't plan on kicking off anytime soon, but a list of what I want to do, for myself this year besides spend time with my cat George. 

Its now 6 months in and here's where I'm at:

1) No relationships - dating is ok but no commitments for 1 year (Leo and I have been dating since January and he's been very understanding about my process and my goal of having a year of self discovery. He's fun, has two fantastic kids, a great dancer and rides a harley.

2) Visit my friend Kaushal in Atlanta - she's a freelance anchor for CNN  (I made a trip out to Atlanta in Feb)

3) Visit my Grandma & Grandpa Tejeda in Nebraska (I just spent memorial weekend with them. See previous blog: What I learned on my trip to Nebraska

4) Have Fun (Diana and I consistently hit up the Bonham Exchange for  nights of dancing. We've even managed to drag some of our other friends, like my roommate Jeanie, out with us.)

 (I've been to lots of Spurs games and even had my picture taken with the coyote.)

5) Laugh More (These days...I laugh a lot)

6) Buy a house (This is something I have dreamed about for as long as I can remember. Now I am well on my way to buying a house and should be a homeowner by the end of the year)

7) Travel (I have just applied for my passport and hopefully will do some traveling later this year. I also went fishing a few months back in Corpus where I caught a HUGE redfish)

8) Visit my family in California more (I have already made one trip back home. Granted it was for my grandmothers funeral but I did get to spend Easter with my family and it was a wonderful experience overall.

9) Get a promotion/raise at work (working on that ;)

10) Freelance On Air Work (I have taken some print pictures and completed one audition for some on air work) 

11) Start a blog (nuff said)

12) Be of service to my community (I am very active in my community but I'm still looking for a board or committee to serve on)

With half the year gone I feel like I've come so far but I still have so much farther to go. I've stayed up late, discovered new tv shows, drank lots of coffee, met new twitter friends, started Zumbaing, gotten closer to my close girlfriends than I ever thought I could have imagined (thank you Diana for everything) and each day I'm so grateful for what the next may bring. This year of reinvention, of discovery, of fun was so needed so deep down in my soul. 

For so long I felt so empty and felt like I was just going through the motions. This year I have felt more alive than I ever have. I have danced till my feet hurt. I have laughed till my smile felt like it would crack my face in half and I know that God has so many more blessings in store for me. Thank you all for being part of my life. ~n

The Bed - Doh!!

So it was go time...Joe and I busted out the paint and got to it, spreading a gorgeous, brown, expresso colored enamel on the headboard, footboard and rails. 

And we had to be careful not to get any runs or air bubbles in it. Because I am a perfectionist and don't you know it has to be immaculate! My mother would be proud.

So after two luscious coats, a good basking in the sun for extra measure the bed was coming home! I was so excited I could hardly sleep the night before! I even got up early, cleaned the wood floors to remove any traces of cat hair, dust and dirt and prepared my room for sleeping greatness. I was like a kid on Christmas morning.

And here it is all put together!!!! Doesn't it look beautiful...so perfect and EXACTLY what I wanted! Joe rocks.

Now comes the moment of truth...putting the box spring, mattresses and the bedding on my new queenly throne!

S**T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not only is the frame too small for my queen sized bed...but its too large for my roommates full sized bed...hmmmm. But Joe tells me all is not lost...he can fix it. And I believe it because:

1) he has made square rails fit into round holes

2) he has made a once thought to be solid wood antique bed look like a damn good replica of a solid wood bed

So I am entrusting my newly painted, slightly irregularly sized bed frame back into the custody of one Joe Mayer for modification and rehabilitation. And hey, if it doesn't work out I'm still out less than $200 and I get to write a creative craigslist post ;)

Stay tuned. 

Raleigh Maroon

Last night I went to go see Melissa Ludwig, higher education writer for the San Antonio Express News and her band Raleigh Maroon. Can I just say WOW was I impressed. And I consider myself a pretty good music connoisseur.

They're a cover band but have many of their own pieces that are quite incredible. Melissa has a set of pipes that just blew me away when they did a rendition of Wild Horses.

Raleigh Maroon plays all over San Antonio, about 3-4 times a week. I caught them at Valintino's di Olmos where they have a steady gig every Friday night for the restaurant crowd.

Here is their rendition of Hotel California which gave me chills.

Hanging with Chris and Jason

Can I just say this...I love Chris and Jason...the guys from 1250 The Zone. If ever a girl needs a quick pick me up ego wise or a little attention these two will give it to you. They are sooooo complimentary. 

The past few months they have been gracious enough to let me come on the show and chit chat with them. I have been able to join the cast of gorgeous ladies like Kim Fisher of WOAI, Trish Deberry-Mehia of GDC and a host of many other lovely Zone Girls who regularly make appearances on the show. They even invited me back for chick week next week.

They were even nice enough to make this video for me during their recent live shot at RioRio Cantina on the Riverwalk this past Friday.

BTW...the bed is finished and will be delivered on Sunday...stay tuned for the blog post ;)

The Bed - The Belated Tuesday Update

So I've been super busy this week and haven't had much of a chance to post this video I shot of the progress on the bed project. My bad. But here is the update...

When I got to Joe's house Tuesday night he had a bit of a family thing he had to take care of so he left me to my own devices in the workshop with a bunch of sand paper, some pain thinner and some primer...sounds like a recipe for disaster right??. But for the *hawh* (I blew on my knuckles and rubbed them on my shirt if you didn't pick up the reference) "expert" (and I say that sarcastically) that I have become in refinishing projects...it was cool. With Katy the shop dog to keep me out of trouble, this is how the bed is shaping up:

Shortly thereafter, Joe returned. And by that time, I had painted the other side of the head board, the flip side of the rails and footboard, and it was time to call it a night. But not before taking a few minutes to chat and enjoy the fruits of our labor...

Oh and pose with silly sunglasses...I'm such a dork ;)

The Bed - Weekend 1

So this weekend I embarked on a HGTV style bed frame makeover. I started with this bed frame which turned out not to be an antique at all. My first clue was the made in China sticker on the bottom ;) My second clue were the A & B assembly stickers we discovered when we took the bed apart. Hmmmm...no biggie Joe and I can work with this and we did. With Katy our assistant carefully watching our progress.

The first thing we did was chop the foot board down to size. Joe is amazingly accurate with a table saw and in no time we had a much smaller foot board. He also cut the round trimming off the top of the footboard, figured a way to drill a few holes in it and affix it to the bottom piece so it looked like one solid piece. 

Turns out my dirty job isn't sanding, yet, first I have to do a lot of stripping. Of paint cochinos!! I have to strip the paint off of the legs and both sides of the head board. 

It took me half a day Saturday and most of the day Sunday to get all the gooey paint and stripper off the head board. That's when we realized after a few test spots on some of the extra foot board wood that the stain we had planned to use wouldn't take. The reason...it's not real wood. It's pressed board and doesn't stain right...hmmmm another setback. 

So that paint I just took off...we're going to pick a new color, sand the frame and paint it again ;) I start that portion of the project Tuesday.

The good news is Joe being super handy with the table saw figured out the problem with the square rails having to fit into round holes...We, or should I say he, just made new slots for the rails and secured them with bolts. We're making progress...stay tuned ;)

The Bed

So at the beginning of the year I got a new bed. Not just any bed, a really nice bed. I mean I pulled out all the stops and got myself one with lumbar support, memory foam and all the trimmings. The reason: I'm a sleeper. Ask anyone who knows me and they will tell you I can sleep for hours at a time. My typical naps are 3-4 hours long and I require at least 8-9 hours of sleep every night. The only problem...I don't have a frame for it. Its currently sitting on my floor. Note the coyote doll...I am a true spurs fan ;)

Although I've made the best of my current situation, I'm holding out for the perfect bed frame. My problem is I have Pottery Barn dreams on a HGTV budget. This is what I want: but I can't even fathom paying $1000 bucks for it.

So I talked with my friend Joe Mayer, who is a carpenter and woodworker about building something like it. I used to take wood shop in school so I'm always down for a project. And I know my way around a table saw so bring it right? But he suggested that if I wanted something like a sleigh bed without the high footboard then to buy a sleigh bed and we'd cut it down...hmmmm.

So yesterday I found a antique sleigh bed on Craigslist. I should mention that I love antiques. I love taking anything old and refinishing it. I love old houses too which is why I'm looking for a home in a historic neighborhood. I love the character. But I'm cheap too. The woman wanted $150 for it at a garage sale. After negotiating her down to $100 and getting her to deliver it to my house this is what I ended up with.

I'll keep you posted on my progress ;)

To my Pops

Yesterday was the 13th anniversary of my fathers death. He died far too young at the age of 43. 

I was barely 19 when he passed away suddenly from a series of brain aneurisms one weekend and because of stupid choices I made I wasn't at the hospital. Instead of being by his bedside, I was off partying with my friends in Palm Springs. 

I still remember stumbling back home to my grandparents house and passing out drunk only to have them wake me a short time later to tell me my father had suffered another aneurism and was brain dead. It was a sobering experience to say the least.

It has taken me a long time to forgive myself for not being there and it was a long spiral down along the way. Today I realize I can't change the past but I can change the future and honor him for the man he was.

My father, Edward James Tejeda, was an amazing man. At 6'3" he could pick me up, hold me upside down with one hand and tickle me with the other - even when I was 18 years old and pushing 5'8" tall. He loved the Beatles, the band and the car (I know they're spelled differently), he was a man of nature and introduced me to snow. 

My dad taught me how to play connect 4, collect eggs from chickens and gave me a lop eared bunny on Easter. He got such a kick out of hiding Easter eggs. My step mom used to tell me he would laugh and cackle about how my brother and I would never find them. 

My father could take apart and build anything. He was an industrial plumber. I used to watch for hours as he would go over blue prints on the kitchen table with his long hair spilling over his shoulders. My father always had long hair - he used to let me brush it and pull it back into a low ponytail. 

As I got older we would sit on the porch at night and talk, looking out into the desert. He helped me skin my first snake, took me fishing for catfish in the canals and even took me on a hike.

The best part were his hugs. I miss his hugs. I remember just reaching my arms around as far as they would go and putting my head on his chest. He always smelled a little like motor oil and cigarettes (he was a smoker). That combination still brings back warm memories whenever I meet someone who smells that way.

His death came at a very dark time in my life and I'm ashamed to say that I wasn't sober through his funeral. I couldn't cope with the guilt, shame and loss so I checked out. In fact I don't even really remember it. 

I had the chance recently to view the video of his funeral for the first time through sober eyes over memorial day. It was surreal, to say the least, to see myself in the video. But I also got to see all the wonderful people who were there to support my family and remember my father.

My father was a good man with a lot of friends. He wasn't a perfect man by any means. None of us are. But when I think back on all the memories I have of him, I am flooded with gratitude that for a short while I got to be daddy's little girl.

Edward James Tejeda

1-29-53 ~ 6-9-96

Flying the Couch

So I got sucked into Home and Garden Television this weekend. I know what you're thinking I need to get a life. But really I did other things this weekend. Honest...I did!

I did my normal Saturday night hit up the Bonham, dance my ass off 'till the wee hours of the morning only to come home exhausted and sack out. But during my down time I found myself kicking it on the couch turning the Dish to HGTV.

It could be because I've got houses on the brain and I'm searching for inspiration.  It could be because I'm genetically engineered to like the channel - its my mom's favorite one, especially any show that has to do with organization. It could also be because there was nothing else saved on my DVR but either way I kept flipping from my normal crime shows back to HGTV. I feel like @normalguyguide who is a HGTV junkie. 

Then last night, I had planned to go to bed early but instead got hooked on the HGTV $250k Challenge where several families in one neighborhood renovate their homes, one room at a time, to compete for the grand prize. An hour later I was on pins and needles waiting to see who was eliminated. I even set my DVR to record the next episode in case I forgot next Sunday. 

Wow...That didn't take long to get me hooked and I normally hate reality TV. Looks like I have a new guilty pleasure. 

So my next question is...what's it going to take to get one of the HGTV designers to come to my new place, when I buy it, bust out that table saw, some paint, a little TV magic and make my house a picture perfect home?

Ode to Starkey

I lost my best friend today. No I didn't misplace him like a set of keys. And no Starkey isn't a dog. Starkey is my partner in crime, my dancing buddy, my "it's always sunny in Philadelphia" marathon watching, drive me to the airport in his jeep, favorite now former WOAI photog. Today he packed up that same Jeep Wrangler and headed out west to Phoenix *sniff*

Starkey and I first really bonded over WOAI's extended coverage of the "Winter Blast" when we were stranded in Kerrville for 5 days.

We worked like dogs and did live hits every 15 to 30 minutes for the wall to wall coverage. We laughed, cried, complained, shivered and played with my mac books photo booth program to pass the time. We became great friends.

Since I left WOAI, Starkey has consistently kept in touch with me and we've remained close. He's the kind of person you don't forget - always has a smile on his face, a quick one liner to make you laugh or a comforting hug just when you need it. He makes friends fast and doesn't lose them easily - not even if he or they move away, which is common in the news business.

Thank heavens Southwest has a quick, cheap, direct flight to Phoenix. Vaya Con Dios my friend. Until we meet again.

What I Learned On My Trip To Nebraska

As you know, I went to Nebraska this past weekend to hang with G&G Tejeda. They're not native Huskers. My grandparents are originally from Southern California but after my father died they moved to a little town near Columbus to be closer to my Aunt Toni. They've been there since 1999ish.

Since living in Texas, I've made the trek three states and 14-hours drive up to Nebraska to see them. It's a brutal trip but like a good granddaughter I do it because I love them and they're all I have left of my dad.

Grandpa is an 82 year old WWII Navy vet who served on the USS Lunga Point. Grandma is a 76 year old classy lady who always has her makeup on by the time breakfast is ready and I'm just crawling out of bed. They've been married for 58 years, go to church every Sunday and love their #1 granddaughter. Yeah I'm that cool. I was also the first for many years ;)

Normally my trips are full of watching tv or sleeping or baking pies or shopping but this time I didn't want to do any of that. Well that's not true. I did some sleeping/napping and I didn't really do any shopping because I'm broke, but that's besides the point. What I really wanted to do was spend some time talking to them - so I did. That generated not only some hilarious twitter posts but I also learned some amazingly, mind blowing things about my grandparents that I never knew before.

So here is my composition on What I Learned On My Trip To Nebraska by: Natalie Tejeda

Finally found my grandparents at the Omaha airport. I walked right past them. Doh!12:48 PM May 22nd from TwitterBerry

Just found out my grandparents got married at the "hitchin post" in Las Vegas 58 years ago! Scandalous!!1:14 PM May 22nd from TwitterBerry

They knew each other 3 months before running off to Vegas to get married. They left my great grandpa a note and eloped!1:16 PM May 22nd from TwitterBerry

That was in 1951. In those days it was quite controversial for a white girl to marry a hispanic man. When they returned from Vegas my Grandmothers father was furious and had sold her car as punishment. However he later came around and he and my Grandfather became good friends.

All the corn fields are full of seedlings. My GPA says by July they'll be knee high1:46 PM May 23rd from TwitterBerry

Time for the Sunday grandparents ritual church then lunch.9:49 AM May 24th from TwitterBerry

Hot damn GPA is flying through town like we're not going to get a seat at church! Services don't start for another 1/2 hour and we just parkd10:03 AM May 24th from TwitterBerry

Things are getting serious gma just made a beeline for the front door. I'm confused b/c the parking lot is still empty10:08 AM May 24th from TwitterBerry

@guerra2100 4th pew and meeting the whole congregation practically. I'm the mysterious visitor/granddaughter from Texas10:32 AM May 24th from TwitterBerry

Man what a rushed schedule we are on. No time for chit chat after church. GPA must be hungry. We're off to the upscale "chances are" restnt11:42 AM May 24th from TwitterBerry

Just passed a cattle ranch. Seriously what are they feeding them cabbage?1:48 PM May 24th from TwitterBerry

Having fun talking with GPA about his ww2 days on the USS lunga point. His ships yearbook is way cool. He even has a tattoo8:16 PM May 24th from TwitterBerry

My Grandfather has worked many jobs in his lifetime. As a young boy he set up pins at a bowling alley. As he got older he was a caddy at a golf course and eventually played on the golf team in high school. He joined the service when he was 17 and wanted to be a pilot but was too tall. After the Navy he worked in several automobile factories before joining Hughes Aircraft. Both he and my Grandmother retired from Hughes.

Overheard on the porch: gma: oh a bird shit on the window GPA: yeah we have some birds that really drop a load gma: this is big poo!8:54 PM May 24th TwitterBerry

I have never, EVER, EVER heard my grandmother utter a swear word in her life before.

Overheard in the car: gma: I forgot my glasses. Gpa: you don't need to see6:06 AM May 25th from TwitterBerry

You know I have never heard them have a serious fight. I'm sure they have but I've never heard them have it out. They've chided each other or picked a little bit but I've never heard them call each other names or belittle each other. I once asked them the secret to a marriage lasting so long and they said a few things 1) you just don't quit 2) *jokingly* Grandma's too old to run away now 3) they also said look for someone who you know will be there when you're old and grey, and who would be willing to wipe your a** for you if you couldn't (thanks for that Grandpa)

As I walked down the ramp toward security and my departing flight at the Omaha airport I looked back to see my G&G Tejeda, standing there with tears in their eyes. They watched and waited as I made my way through security. I would have been just fine if they had just slowed down the car and let me dive roll out at the curb but they insisted on parking and walking me in.

That's the difference between us and them. We're so fast paced, so self centered, is it convenient? Yeah I'll drop you off. Yeah I'll pick you up. Call me when you're outside.

How often do we make the effort to go to the door at a friends house? Or do we just call and say "I'm outside." How often do we just do ten circles around the airport or wait in the cell phone waiting lot instead of parking and walking in to meet our friends and loved ones?

They were willing to wait for me when I arrived in Omaha and see me off when I left. They went the extra mile. Just like their marriage, just like their jobs at Hughes, they gave it their all. It's amazing what you learn when you're not even trying to learn anything.

So am I going to give up my cell phone, my fast paced life, become a nun and move to BFE...come on...lets get real....look who's writing. But maybe...just maybe...I'll slow down a tad, call them a little more often, ask others how they're doing and remember its quality not quantity that counts.

To Grandmothers House I Go

So about a month ago I told my Grandma and Grandpa Tejeda I would come out and visit for Memorial Day and about a week ago - last weekend to be more precise - they called to tell me how excited they were. And to be quite honest I felt like such a bad granddaughter because I had totally forgotten. I didn't even realize the Memorial Day holiday was approaching and had already made plans for the weekend that I was to come out. Doh!! Bad granddaughter!! 

To make matters worse they live in Nebraska...not just a little Nebraska but BFE Nebraska. Three states up, 14 hours drive away Nebraska! Double Doh. So like the bad granddaughter I was I told them I wasn't going to be able to come out because I couldn't get a 4-day weekend and wouldn't be able to make the trip which usually goes like this:

Friday: Drive all day, hit traffic, see friends in Oklahoma, see friends in Kansas and finally arrive in Nebraska at 10pm ish

Saturday: Sleep till noon, visit with grandma, tell her the same story over and over, bake a pie, watch tv, go to bed

Sunday: wake up early, go to church, hit the chinese food buffet, come home watch more tv, go to bed

Monday: wake up early, drive home all day, hit traffic, get home exhausted, go to bed and prepare for work the next day

But after feeling like a total schmuck all weekend, I can't even begin to describe the disappointment in my grandpa's voice, I asked my work for Friday off, cancelled my plans for the Memorial Day weekend and mentally prepared for the long drive ahead.

Car ready...check

Gas fund...check

Rockstar supply...valero is stocked...check

Then all my friends started nagging me about booking a flight instead of driving. The only problems 1) 3 days notice and 2) no close airports to my grandparents house...BFE remember. But I did find a relatively cheap flight to Omaha, which is two hours away, so I snagged it. Thank God for Southwest Airlines.

When I called my Grandpa Tejeda to tell him the good news, that I was in fact coming out for a visit and he and grandma were going to have to pick me up at the airport, I thought he was going to start crying right then. He was so excited. He wanted to know all the details - flight number, time, airline, etc. So I emailed my itinerary to my Aunt Toni who lives a town away. (note: G&G Tejeda don't have email...according to Grandpa it was too frustrating for "Grandma" and they got rid of the computer. I have a sneaking suspicion it was really Grandpa who was frustrated not Grandma.) My Aunt Toni sent me this email back:

I passed along the info. You have made them so very happy by coming to
visit, thank-you. Please be prepared for Grandmas dementia, it is getting
harder to see her, and I see them about once a week.... I fear that soon she
will not know me. They love you so much.... you are the only part of your
Dad that they cling to. Anyway, I am glad you are not waiting to visit.I
look forward to seeing you!

Toni

It will be the 13th anniversary of my fathers death this June. And I can count on two hands the number of times I've seen my Grandma and Grandpa Tejeda since he died. Up until last month when my Cookie Grandmother passed away I still had all of my grandparents living and sometimes I forget how lucky I am to be in that position. I'm glad I'm taking the time this Memorial Day to travel to BFE Nebraska and spend a little time with mi familia. 

Guilty Pleasures

So I have these guilty pleasures. One of them is reading the "Best Of" section on Craigslist. I LOVE IT. Some of my favorite recent postings include.

Wanted: Roadkill, Wanted: Husband,

Seeking arranged marriage

Yes there have been many times I have spent hours perusing through postings laughing so hard I've cried on my keyboard. My all time favorite posting is about the dating scene on Craigslist. Its totally NSFW.

Oh the Men I have met on Craigslist 

I don't know why I get such a thrill reading the "Best Of" postings but it somehow makes me feel like my life is not so abnormal. But my latest obsession is this website textsfromlastnight.com. OMG!! Hilarious. 

I first heard about texts from the "Office Time Wasters" blog on mysa.com but then my friend Lisa got me hooked on it. It's kind of like drunk dials but instead its text messages about peoples escapades from the night before. Only now they're logged on the internet for all to see. You can even sort them by area code to see what the people in your city are saying after a night of "fun." 

Some of my favorites include: (disclaimer - many are NSFW so I'll only post the safe ones here. check out the website for the rest)

(415): u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them

(978): every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.

(917): i'm at a stripclub and this b***h just lit her nipples on fire!

(404): Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.

(708): Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.

(212): i want you now
(916): you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this

(412): Dude, you need to talk to your mom
(724): wtf?
(412): She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you

Good times...fun reads...and guilty pleasures....gotta love it. 

Impressed

Its safe to say I'm a fan of our new president. This morning I watched, in entirety, the commencement address of the Notre Dame graduation. I did this as I was doing busy work at my desk and I found myself stopping to listen over and over to the words of inspiration he gave to the class of 2009. I was so moved I decided to post it. Granted our new president has given a lot of speeches in his first few months as Commander in Chief however I felt this was a particularly good one and deserved some extra play. 

Schooled!!

So I've been schooled three times this week on two different topics - 1) not updating my blog and 2) texting/tweeting while driving. Doh!! So I thought I'd kill two birds with one stone. The first gentle reminder came from my friend Carlos who so nicely put it "A blog very quickly turns into a very demanding mistress."

Tell me about it. This blog woman is demanding. I have a hard enough time keeping up with my daily life, twitter, Zumba classes, dates, outings and the like. And most of the time I just come home exhausted and collapse into bed without ever giving my little Mac a second look. Granted this blog woman does have a right to complain, she is quite neglected so I am making a commitment to her again. A renewal of my vows so to speak to spend some of my valuable down time typing away at the keyboard and sharing a bit of my crazy little world with the interweb. The funny thing is, as anyone who knows me knows (why do I always say that?) I'm not that great at commitment as evidence to the fact that most of my relationships don't last longer than 18 months. However here's to you "The Güera" may we be a match made online.

As for lesson numero dos - tweeting while driving. You know I never used to be a big texter while driving. I used to be pretty adamant against it. In fact I used to get into fights with people about why didn't I text back right away. Granted I was on a motorcycle at the time but still I wasn't too keene on the idea because I saw how many people were swerving all over the road. Then came twitter. Oh twitter how I love thee. Now I'm addicted to twitter and I find myself tweeting all the time while I'm out and about - especially when I'm behind the wheel.

So here's the quandry...how do I break my new habit. My crackberry has twitterberry on it and I find myself constantly checking my friends updates. If not that, I'm checking emails. I'm not willing to give up my Crackberry but even on my drive home from New Braunfels today it was hard to just put my phone down and not check status updates and that was just a 35 minute drive. Man what did we do before cell phones and twitter? But as I said I was schooled by not one but two people about my driving and tweeting. And although I've never been in an accident or curbed it (run into a curb because I wasn't looking where I was going because I was too busy tweeting/texting) I keep thinking of this story from the News 4 WOAI Troubleshooters.

http://www.woai.com/mediacenter/local.aspx?videoid=685979@video.woai.com&articleID=685979

I think I'll just put my phone down now and concentrate on the road and think up some good blog topics while I drive