Monday, January 4, 2010
100 Blog Challenge - #2 - Off The Market
So at 12:30 am 2010 I was officially taken off the dating market. That's when Nick pulled me aside and sweetly asked me "What I would think about being his girlfriend." My immediate response wasn't a verbal one. Instead I just smiled and kissed him. As I felt a flutter of excitement pour over me I also had a momentary twinge of hesitation run through my body.
That was the label I had managed to neatly evade for all of 2009 - something I had stuck to my guns about - I was going to be SINGLE for an entire year. But here it was, 30 minutes into 2010, and Nick was not wasting any time. Was I ready for this? Could I do this? Can I be a good girlfriend?
I always joke that the song "Bad Girlfriend" is my theme song because I have a history of not doing relationships well. They never work out or they're not with the right people. On my end I can be selfish, cold, vain and get bored easily. (Hey at least I'm honest)
To make a long story short my track record with LTR's isn't great. They usually have a shelf life of 18 months and by the end I'm either racing from some sick co-dependent cocoon or gimping my way out of the so called union scathed, scarred and emotionally wrecked. Sounds like fun huh?
Some might say, and have said, I have commitment issues. I would definitely say I have commitment issues. That's a big Roger that! I hate the fact that I had to sign a two year contract for my cell phone company.
So what makes this guy - more specifically Nick - so different? Especially when I spent an entire YEAR dating a number of men, one in particular, almost exclusively for most of the year and who had indicated interest in the boyfriend position. Why was I so willing or even considering getting back into a relationship after a year of single bliss?
I wish I could say I knew or could point to one single thing but I can't. From the moment Nick first extended his hand to me and we danced Salsa in the kitchen at his family's tamalada I knew I wanted to dance with him again. The next night at Arjon's as we laughed and spun around the small, crowded floor, I was enchanted by his smile, confidence and expressive eyes.
In the following days and weeks we talked for hours, stayed up way too late, went dancing again and again and again, went to dinner, went to a movie, danced in my living room till all hours of the night, went to a concert at Gruene Hall, went to my Christmas party, texted, he met a few of my friends and I met a few of his. And with each passing day the other people that I had been dating just kind of slipped away.
Then on New Years Eve, in my room, as he pulled me close and asked me if I would be his girlfriend, that momentary flash of fear vanished and I said "Yes!"
Call me crazy - I am. Call this a whirl wind romance - It is. Call it whatever you will. But I'm jumping in head first and going to ride this train till the wheels come off. Wish me luck ;)